I went to school today. We’re learning about counting jade. After that was penmanship class, we practice on rice parchment. After school I road the floatilla home and ate dinner with mom and dad. Dad talked about work at the factory and mom told us about her sewing. I told them about my school. After dinner I went upstairs and opened my window to let in some fresh air, my asthma makes it hard to breathe sometimes.
I opened the window just now and caught a glimpse between the clouds. Peaking from around the endless mass of grey, I saw a brilliant golden light shine through and bathe me in my window. It felt like being on fire, it felt like being born. It was in that moment that my eyes were opened and I felt everything I was meant to feel.
But then it was gone, just as quickly as it came. I dropped to my knees and wept. For hours I wept. In that one moment I knew love, hate, life, death, passion, conviction, justice… I knew how to feel. I can feel it slipping now, leaving me like the sun’s light hid back behind the clouds. I don’t want to live in this world, a world where the sun doesn’t shine. I wish… I wish someone would do something, someone would stand up and let us see the sun again. I wish I could feel that way forever, I wish I could breathe. I have to keep writing, I have to find a way to write this all down so that I don’t forget. I can’t forget, I have to remember. I have to remember… to remember…
Weird day yesterday, I don’t quite remember what happened. Busy day today. Got up, went to school. Today we took some tests. I need to do well so I can go to secondary school. I’m going to be an engineer, like my father. His father was an engineer and his father before him. That’s what our family does. That’s what we’ve always done.
Saw Akira at school. We talked about tests. I think we get along. Maybe we’ll have a family some day.
Tonight I’ll go home for dinner. Mom and dad will talk about their day, I’ll talk about mine. Afterward I’ll do my homework then I’ll go to bed. Tomorrow, more school.
I … can’t remember yesterday, I just remember opening my window. Something happened, something important. I just can’t remember what. Oh well, probably nothing, I should forget about it and focus on my school work.